her blemishes

2007-11-19T09:50:00.001-08:00

migrating.

not here but there.

my archives mean to much to me to delete this 3 year notepad.

http://chaiii.tumblr.com

2007-11-13T08:19:00.000-08:00

jansen: EH, pretty girl.

i: why you suddenly call me pretty girl?

jansen: you girls like right when being called pretty right.

peh peh (vagina in malay) all come out water.

i'm addicted to watching gossip girl.

SO JUICY, I COULD WATCH IT TILL MORN'.

2007-11-12T04:34:00.000-08:00

love is crazy.
love is beautiful.
LOVE IS SUICIDE.

Run away from money.

Quit your job and climb a tree.

One with hearts instead of leaves.

2007-11-08T10:55:00.000-08:00

"it's sometimes much better to be alone then to feel like a success, then to be in a relationship and feel like a failure all the time."

"At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep other people out. They fence you in. Life is messy. That's how we're made. So, you can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them. But there are some lines... that are way too dangerous to cross."

"You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales, that fantasy of what your life would be, white dress, prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on a hill. You would lie in bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close you could taste them, but eventually you grow up, one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is its hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely cause almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they will open their eyes and it will come true."

"At the end of the day faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don't really expect it. It's like one day you realize that the fairy tale may be slightly different than you dreamed. The castle, well, it may not be a castle. And it's not so important happy ever after, just that its happy right now. See once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you , and once in a while people may even take your breath away."

"A couple of hundred years ago, Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his success. Never leave that till tomorrow, he said, which you can do today. This is the man who discovered electricity. You think more people would listen to what he had to say. I don't know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I'd have to say it has a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, sometimes the fear is just of making a decision, because what if you're wrong? What if you're making a mistake you can't undo? The early bird catches the worm. A stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost. We can't pretend we hadn't been told. We've all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to seize the day. Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore. Until we finally understand for ourselves what Benjamin Franklin really meant. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beat the hell out of never trying."

"I've heard that it's possible to grow up - I've just never met anyone who's actually done it. Without parents to defy, we break the rules we make for ourselves. We throw tantrums when things don't go our way, we whisper secrets with our best friends in the dark, we look for comfort where we can find it, and we hope - against all logic, against all experience. Like children, we never give up hope..."

"Pain, you just have to ride it out, hope it goes away on its own, hope the wound that caused it heals. There are no solutions, no easy answers, you just breath deep and wait for it to subside. Most of the time pain can be managed but sometimes the pain gets you where you least expect it. Hits way below the belt and doesn't let up. Pain, you just have to fight through, because the truth is you can't outrun it and life always makes more."

"Sometimes reality has a way of sneaking up and biting us in the ass. And when the dam bursts, all you can do is swim. The world of pretend is a cage, not a cocoon. We can only lie to ourselves for so long. We are tired, we are scared, denying it doesn't change the truth. Sooner or later we have to put aside our denial and face the world. Head on, guns blazing. De Nile. It's not just a river in Egypt, it's a freakin' ocean. So how do you keep from drowning in it?"

"Maybe we're not supposed to be happy. Maybe gratitude has nothing to do with joy. Maybe being grateful means recognizing what you have for what it is. Appreciating small victories. Admiring the struggle it takes simply to be human. Maybe we're thankful for the familiar things we know. And maybe we're thankful for the things we'll never know. At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing is reason enough to celebrate."

"At the end of the day, when it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody. So this thing, where we all keep our distance and pretend not to care about each other, is usually a load of bull. So we pick and choose who we want to remain close to, and once we've chosen those people, we tend to stick close by. No matter how much we hurt them, the people that are still with you at the end of the day - those are the ones worth keeping. And sure, sometimes close can be too close. But sometimes, that invasion of personal space, it can be exactly what you need."

these are what get's me through.

LIFE.

2007-11-07T13:27:00.000-08:00

this evening, my mobile rang.
a call, not your ordinary-everyday local call.
a call, i jumped (with only lingerie on) for joy.
a call, i could really use, desperately.
a call, from sheryl seah in aussie.
i didn't know if to cry or smile when you decided to pick up the phone and dial my number.

even after we hung up, we continued messaging.
and i said to you, ''i'll move to perth for you if i had the finances."

i came home sober tonight, and found this on your blog.

now, i really don't know if to cry or not.

2007-11-06T09:37:00.000-08:00

MUN MUN.

2007-11-04T12:06:00.000-08:00

i'm there at your side,
i'm part of all the things you are.
neng, jansen, wayne and rina.

2007-10-31T20:02:00.000-07:00

omfg, (or how jansen would say it, oh my total gosh!) when i look in the mirror, i see one helluva fat face.
(or what jansen would call me, two face fat face).
this emotional binge-ing must be put to a stop, STOP.
i think i'm back to starvation once again.
can't imagine if i were to be pregnant, i'll be a damn hot air balloon lah.

-

sleepy therapy yesterday, retail therapy today.

2007-10-30T10:34:00.000-07:00

this evening i went for hypnotherapy to aid my sleeping problems.

it better as hell work.

if i were a SIM, i'd like to look like this.

but first, a need to diet-drama.

2007-10-29T07:37:00.000-07:00

a line or two or more for you.

(i don't mean to be blunt, but this is not meant for sim liwen but someone muchmuchmuch more worth it.)

so back up, back up, take another chance.
don't you mess up, mess up, I don't wanna lose you.
wake up, wake up, this aint just a thing that you give up, give up.
don't you say that I'd be better off, better off, sleeping by myself and wondering if, i'm better off, better off, without you boy.
but don't just leave me hanging on, you're my closest.

-

I talk to you as to a friend.
I hope that's what you've come to be.
it feels as though we've made amends, like we found a way eventually.
it was you who picked the pieces up when I was a broken soul,
and then glued me back together,
returned to me what others stole.
I don't wanna hurt you,
I don't wanna make you sway,
like I know I've done before.
I will not do it anymore, I've always been a dreamer,
I've had my head among the clouds.
now that I'm coming down,
won't you be my solid ground?
I look at you and see a friend.
I hope that's what you wanna be.
are we back now where it all began?
have you finally forgiven me?
you gathered my dreams in when they all blew away,
and then tricked them back into me.
you saved me when I was almost dead.

-

incompatible, it don't matter though.
cause' someone's bound to hear my cry.
speak out if you do, you're not easy to find.
is it possible Mr. Lovable is already in my life?
right in front of me or maybe you're in disguise.

-

I let the day go by.
I always say goodbye.
I watch the stars from my window sill,
the whole world is moving and I'm standing still.
woke up and wished that I was dead,
with an aching in my head,
i lay motionless in bed.
the night is here and the day is gone,
and the world spins madly on.
I thought of you and where you'd gone,
and the world spins madly on.

2007-10-25T09:53:00.000-07:00

And I need you like a heart needs a beat
But it's nothing new.

tripping, stumbling, flipping, fumbling, slipping, tumbling, sinking, fumbling.

this might aid you in dieting and trying some flexy moves.
i won't be surprise your bones will really pop.

2007-10-20T08:07:00.000-07:00

what do you do when you screw me over without thinking?
you'll get your deserts.
i'll screw you over x100000000000.
simple as that.
i thought, once bitten twice shy?
doesn't work on you doesn't it?
i forgave you the first time, i'm not soft anymore.
or maybe i'll let karma work it's way up yours.

of course, yours truly.

2007-09-27T14:11:00.000-07:00

i'm not the easiest person to love.
i'm often the one who let's things go unresolved.
yet you choose to be,
on the side of me.
i'm not too proud of some things i've done in my life,
skeletons in my closet are too big for me to hide.
yet you choose to be,
on the side of me.
blessed charity, you're on the side of me.
cause' everyone needs a friend to hold,
when it's cold outside and there's no place to go.
i remembered when nobody cared but you.
i'm not the easiest person to love,
but you, you opened your heart to see what i'm worth.
cause' you choose to be on the side of me.
what a mystery, you're on the side of me.
yet you choose to be,

on the side of me.

2007-09-14T10:41:00.000-07:00

I FOUND A SOLUTION TO KICK OFF THE HABIT OF PROCRASTINATING AND GET STARTED ON ASSIGNMENTS!
i checked my school email a minute ago and downloaded a workbook titled, 'workbook for meeting your deadlines' to help me cope with the hardship of sitting my fat arse to do assignments.
keeping up with school or assignments for that instance, is so so so difficult nowadays.
FOCUS CHAI, FOCUS.
(by the way, this is my current nail colour for this week, HAHA.)

i should fast with the fellow muslims this fasting season, yes?
because i think i badly needd it.

2007-09-13T11:06:00.000-07:00

I SERIOUSLY CANNOT GET OFF PROCRASTINATING.
aim for today was to complete the uncompleted assignments.
but instead, i chose to sit myself down and watch knocked up, paint my nails some electrik purple and head down to the prata shop to chillax.
this weekend is meant to complete assignments, understand chai?
no more getting high&drunk and backward rolling and then vomitting.
some champion i am.

2007-09-10T09:00:00.000-07:00

assignments.

I CANNOT KEEP TELLING MYSELF, I'LL DO IT TOMORROW.
BECAUSE WHEN TOMORROW COMES, I KNOW I WON'T DO IT.

-

friendship.

REALITY CHECK.

WE ALL NEED TO DO THAT.

YES, I'VE BEEN A WEE BIT DIRECT TO SOME,

BUT DON'T HATE ME FOR IT,

INSTEAD DO A LITTLE THINKING ABOUT WHAT I SAID.

I'M NOT OUT TO STAB YOU IN THE HEART/BACK.

I SAY WHAT'S ON MY MIND.

HOPE YOU'LL UNDERSTAND.

for neng.

A best friend is always there, whether you need advice, or a pep talk, or even a shoulder to cry on. A best friend listens with her heart and is always honest with you, even though the truth may not be what you want to hear. A best friend knows all your secrets, understands your fears, shares your dreams. A best friend never stops believing in you even if you give upon yourself. You aret hat kind of friend to me. And no matter what happens, you always will be.

what's the point of having material things when you're lousy at being a friend?
tell me.

2007-09-06T23:04:00.000-07:00

by far, her nicest song.
umbrella just irritates me.

some happy birthday to jansen.

2007-09-02T05:05:00.000-07:00

i had a ton of pictures to do some uploading, but but but my sister deleted all of them, so i'm left with NOTHING.
nevermind, because only quite abit of people are going to hang me by neck.

-

on another note, i read my horoscope for this month and i find it close to being true.
getting my life in order s going to be a piece of mooncake, RIGHT.

the party girl in you will re-emerge, and organising a full social life will lead to new love and ignite passion.
you'll meet guys with a different edge, so relax and let love blossom
friends don't define you and you need to focus on your work.
someone will also let you down this month.

audiocandy: lost - roger sanchez.

2007-08-04T12:26:00.000-07:00

i sorta realised that i have not been blogging as much as i used to.
neither have i been out and about, painting wherever red.
nor eating as much as i normally would.
you could say i'm on a mission to lose weight, yet again.
school's starting again and it'd be a first nice start to looking fresh, other then the other fresh habits i'm going to have to adapt to.
(LIKE ACTUALLY ATTENDING CLASSES)
i've kicked the habit of snacking for a start, and only have a meal a day.
oh, and no more alcowhoring because alcohol is the devil liquidised.
inbetween, i've been doing nothing but drinking a glass of water with a slice of lemon inside.
(eh, it gives your water a perk)
on other days, when i wake up feeling entirely fat, i don't eat at all and i skip or go to the gym.
(but gym-ing is a slight inconvenience because my previous gym membership has expired so i'd have to drive down to the nearest)
i want to go as skinny as nicole richie, then maybe i'll be a little satisfied.
on another note, life is still as stale as ever but not as complicated as before.

i think i need to do something with this life of mine, because it's as hell collecting dust.
i'll go continue balling my eyes out trying to put together a thousand piece jigsaw puzzle.
six disney princesses (belle, cinderella, jasmine, aurora, ariel and snow white) to complete and i've only reached ariel's face and flounder (the fish, if you didn't know)

-

last week's dinner with my secondary school classmates.

xoxo.

2007-07-31T14:02:00.000-07:00

And I hate how much I love you.

2007-07-30T12:13:00.000-07:00

besides the video being a little raunchy, the song is nice okay.

2007-07-26T09:48:00.000-07:00

can't one human being not like another human being?
can't we just not get along, it'll be perfect.
LOL.
i should tell myself, enough. PERIOD.

-

help me decide on a birthday cake this year?
i digggggg cakes.

shall we go scurvy, paul frank?

sleeping beauty? snow white? little mermaid?

little pony?

2007-07-23T23:17:00.000-07:00

this is a little backdated.
but better late then never, yes?
the night i picked sheryl up from the airport and headed direct to taboo.

champagne supernova.

2007-07-23T09:13:00.000-07:00

don't doubt the man, seriously.
(ian mckellen; xmen - magneto
lord of the rings -gandalf,
da vinci code -sir leigh teabing)

he was right, he did check out some gay hotspots in singapore.
because last night, he was on the podium of powerhouse.
SERIOUSLY.

2007-07-16T12:23:00.000-07:00

copied and pasted from neng.

I hope you know that you're the stinkiest slut alive.
& if one day, you really do push me off the edge.
I'll fucking pin you to the ground
& stab you in the face.

I know I sound way bad.
But you started this.
So game on, bitch.

well said neng, i'm behind you,

ALL THE WAY!

2007-07-15T07:07:00.000-07:00

"always in our hearts"

i love you gramps.

10th August 1930 - 15th July 2007

2007-07-12T01:45:00.000-07:00

random in random order:

1. i'm practicing self-control. (tame the alcowhore within me)
2. get started on my specialisation project, due in weeks to come.
3. stay away from two specific people, because they disgusts me. (but then again, i'm pretty forgiving)
4. earn some money, save some money.
5. my birthday's coming so i should take a month or so to do some figuring.
6. lose 7kg.
7. i love ah nennnggg and karim cupcakes.
8. you make me happy.

2007-07-09T10:43:00.000-07:00

WHATEVER!

2007-07-08T09:15:00.000-07:00

my parents bought my a 'my little pony' fleece blanket.
i can't wait to sleep, like right now!

2007-07-02T09:25:00.000-07:00

i think about a week ago, my sister and mummy found this by the side of the road.
and hey, it isn't those breed-less kittens, it's a siamese!

rockerfella.

my sister tries hard to demonstrate how tiny it is using her mobile.

bye bye rockerfella :(

happy birthday policeman moh.
xoxo, kisses.

2007-06-29T11:06:00.000-07:00

eh, i all-of-sudden, miss you?

2007-06-24T04:19:00.000-07:00

wah wah wah, i require major recuperation.

this is wednesday, zouk.

this is friday, ministry of sound.

this is saturday, ministry of sound again.

i cannot do bottles anymore.

2007-06-18T12:03:00.000-07:00

nails done, chanel two-way cake refill bought, gained weight again, eighty dollar blush received, misplaced my driving licence, heartbroken and now i stomached a million nuggets.
i'm going jogging at 3 in the morning.

2007-06-12T08:35:00.000-07:00

I made a Meez of myself :)

http://www.meez.com

2007-06-11T08:14:00.000-07:00

i'm completely comment-less, really.
thank you song for the surprise, i'll chunk you everyday.
(refer to the previous post, if you're feeling lost about chunking)

i'd like this next, okay?

2007-06-06T02:27:00.001-07:00

I chunk you, you chunk me.

2007-06-05T12:14:00.000-07:00

from the absense of blogging, i actually accomplished a few things.
lose a little weight, completed the entire season of grey's anatomy season three, sat myself down and cleaned out my room, i lost my white-ness.
but, i want my white-ness back.

-

sometimes I find myself sittin' back and reminiscing,
especially when I have to watch other people kissin'.
and I remember when you started callin' me your miss's.
all the play fightin',
all the flirtatious disses
I'd tell you sad stories about my childhood
I dont why I trusted you,
but I knew that I could.
we'd spend the whole weekend lying in our own dirt.
I was just so happy in your boxers and your t-shirt.
dreams, dreams of when we had just started things,
dreams of you and me,
it seems, it seems,
that I can't shake those memories
I wonder if you have the same dreams too.

2007-05-25T00:30:00.000-07:00

first of, clinic on wednesday.

then we zouk-ed.

looky, kenni (manager of clinic).

ministry of sound on saturday.

waiting for ah neng at attica.

okay, not all the peektures are up because there was way to much cam-whoring.

2007-05-23T03:17:00.000-07:00

We're strangers, we're not friends.

I hate this and I hate them.

J, I miss you.

2007-05-20T03:38:00.000-07:00

REMEMBER THIS?

twenty two tomorrow, sheryl.

i was looking through the photo files in my thumbdrive and here's what i found.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

2007-05-17T12:50:00.000-07:00

i could use this right now,

and marcus can't agree with me more.

2007-05-14T11:02:00.000-07:00

What do I, what do I, what do I need
To do to get myself in a better mood
What do you, what do you, what do you need
To do to get yourself in a better mood
Well there's not a lot for you to give if you're giving in
And there's not a lot for you to feel if you're not feeling it
You bring it up and bring it in and we'll get you fixed up in no time
What I wanted most, what I wanted most, what I wanted most
Was to get myself all figured out
And what I figured out, what I figured out, what I figured out
Was that I needed more time to figure you out
There's not a lot for you to give if you're giving in
And there's not a lot for you to feel if you're not feeling it
You bring it up and bring it in and we'll get you fixed up in no time
Cause this love is all I have to give
This love is all I have to give

tegan & sara, fix you up.

2007-05-12T10:59:00.000-07:00

i need a hiatus, PERIOD.

-

don't cry out; shiny toy guns.

2007-05-09T01:20:00.000-07:00

Your house tells the world that you ought to be a leader. You are a freedom lover and a strong person. You love your house and family. You are a gifted artist as well. Once you have a problem, you need a friend with you. Your life is always full of changes. Once you have a problem, you need a friend with you. Your life is always full of changes.

You will avoid being alone and seek the company of others whenever possible. You love excitement and create it wherever you go. You have a strong personality and you like to command, influence and control people.

You added a flower into your drawing. The flower signifies that you long for love. It also safe to say that others don't see you as a flirt. You don't think much about yourself.

http://drawahouse.com/TakeTheTest/

TRY.

2007-05-08T10:33:00.000-07:00

I spilled the ink across the page,

trying to spell your name.

up and down there it goes,

paper aeroplane.

it hasn't flown the seven seas to you,

but its on its way.

it goes through the hands then to someone else,

to find you girl.

xoxo,
your better friend.

i can't wait to see you this weekend,

sheryl seah mun mun.

2007-05-07T00:53:00.000-07:00

when i'm financially stable, i'm getting this.

prettyprettypretty.

2007-05-05T12:00:00.000-07:00

peektures from our get-away.
beach, free-flow alcohol, awesome breakfast/lunch/dinner, "splendid" 4 flights, monkeys and girls.
(the peektures are in random order and not fully posted because i am very tired)

see, aeroplane. (the only aeroplane in the airport!)

a little bit of sports whilst waiting for the coach to the aiport.

jamaica!

luggage (L-R) ko, amy, narene, mich, azy and mine.

anna kournikova (?) badminton/chinese style.

narene's hanky and elmo is a must to put you right to sleep.

and so is amy's bear with a dislocated ankle and foot.

before flight.

the beach, as you can see.

our monkey-infested abode for the weekend.

we were housed at cicak, ko leads the way on the not-so-yellow brick road.

told you it was monkey infested, even on our balconies.

2007-05-03T10:52:00.000-07:00

i, am swearing off alcohol for a very long time.
i can't define long, because i do not know how.
alcohol made a fool outta me last night.
picture this, i was merlion at it's best yesternight.

and these are very bad pictures of the night.

2007-04-23T10:37:00.000-07:00

your choice, it's simple.
her or me.
and i'm sure she's really great, but _____, i love you,
in a really really big,
pretend to like your taste in music,
let you eat the last piece of cheesecake,
hold a radio over my head outside your window,
unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you.
so pick me, choose me, love me.

2007-04-13T00:55:00.000-07:00

i bumped into viviane twice on wednesday, so we decided to smile-for-the-camera on the second time we met.
unfortunately, i was leaving mambo and she was just about to begin.
for some reason, the whole world decided to mambo that night, really.

why do i like repeating mistakes?
i don't think it's fun, and i don't see it coming either.

2007-04-08T12:26:00.000-07:00

yesternight was alex's last day before he enlists into the navy, of which the fool-of-a-child, cannot swim.
NOW HOW ABOUT THAT FOR A START?

alex, very sober.

alex, halfway from sober.

left to right: fiona, i, pamela, alan (supervisor), fazli, santos, brant, eden, alex, raymus, kelvin (?) and selve.

alex and our FBar manager.

killer 151 and it's waterfall.

alex and an ugly girl.

very, very, naughty, messy boys.

2007-04-02T09:26:00.000-07:00

get high.

2007-04-01T13:35:00.000-07:00

bratz or barbie, bratz hands down.
hotter clothes, hotter boyfriends and hotter names.
plastic slut/whores.

2007-03-26T01:45:00.001-07:00

2007-03-25T11:30:00.000-07:00

talk about breakdowns.
be it a car breakdown or just because you got your heart tampered with.
SPLENDID, i say.
what am i, a jinx?
i've being doing alot of stupid/mindless things, really.
just the other day, before getting into the car to drive off, i left my handphone on the windscreen.
no, i'm not talking about inside the car on the dashboard.
more like outside the car, in the gap between the window screen and window wipers.
only to realise when i reached another destination, i was driving with my phone outside the car!
imagine if i were to use the window wipers, my phone would've flown off in an instance.
then, i met up with marcus (DJ from Fbar) for chit-chat at mount faber.
it started raining like it never rained before.
how about, when we decided to leave, the car engine couldn't turn on because the battery went flat.
FLAT!
raining, no other vehicles to jump start my engine, NOTHING!
and during our panic/laughter attack, 'blame it on the weather man' by b*witched was playing on the radio, how appropriate can that get?
i was stranded with marcus.
till he decided on calling AA to tow but it would cost $200+ including subscription to membership.
we decided on leaving the car there overnight and pick it up the next day, which we did and it only cost us $120, but still.
and whilst changing the battery, it rained like it never rained before.
we had to go back, shower and head out again.
SERIOUSLY!?
and i've been super moody during work.
i fought with the only person who is working at the same section as i am.
not because of anything but he really pushes most of the job to me when i have other things on my hands to complete.
bugger.
ignore, stop thinking, sleep and coffee are the four words right now.

i work, she takes off.

2007-03-22T10:58:00.000-07:00

she's like "so, whatever",
you could do so much better,
I think we should get together now,
hey, hey, you, you,
I don't like your girlfriend,
no way, no way, think you need a new one,
hey, hey, you, you, I could be your girlfriend,
hey, hey, you, you, I know that you like me,
no way, no way, no its not a secret,
hey, hey, you, you, I want to be your girlfriend.

: )

2007-03-14T07:53:00.000-07:00

i can't even start to describe today.
i had a total of five cups of cuppacinos within this 24 hours.
4 cups goes to this morning, i didn't get a wink of sleep because i decided to surprise J at 7 this morning.
this, you have to hear.
i reached J's house, apparently the mother looked through the peephole and thought she saw me holding a knife.
A KNIFE!?
i was merely holding the bars of the gate with both hands because i was tired waiting outside for an hour?
LOL.
i mean, understanding how J and i have been arguing, of course aunty, i'd slaughter him anytime.
these are the Ang's for you.

-

today, we decided to do something outrageous.
J's gone blonde and i'm a red-head.

-

2007-03-13T04:10:00.000-07:00

and the reason i drag thy blistered feet to work,

the babe fiona and the not-so-photogenic-dj.

selva and santos.

boys, just sometimes.

i'll go sipping on my coffee, right about now.

2007-03-12T03:29:00.000-07:00

i like my coffee half cup, a quarter milk and 3 packets of sugar.
i might prefer whipped milk on the top.
it keeps me sane.
in fact, better than alcowhore.

2007-03-11T13:57:00.000-07:00

i, have alot of random things to add today.
for one, i think, just maybe, i am becoming what seems to be obsessive compulsive behaviour like my friend dianna.
you remember dianna and her intolerance for one strand of eyebrow that grows.
her fingers turn itchy, just dying to yank it off her skin.
yes yes, i think i have that.
the only difference is that, i haven't plucked the eyebrows in a very long time.
so you get my bushy idea.
and you can't blame me when i lost the eyebrow plucker, can you?
so i decided that during my one hour break, i'd go get them shaped.
i went to the nearest whatever you call it, beauty place(?), and got it shaped for a shit-hole price of twelve bucks.
but i paid for what's worth it.
i just 'die-die' had to get the unwelcomed eyebrow hairs off.
with that done, i got myself a take-away cuppacino and headed back to work, as usual.
i have to say that cuppacino works like my green-tea diet, cleansing away unwanted stuff.
(if you get my drift)
after many hours of work, we did the usual.
7eleven cheap drinks with the bartender and fiona.
talk a little cock and we left, only after i got another cuppacino :)

tonight, drinks at my place with the same ol', bartender and fiona.
just sometimes, work can be this fun.

-

"I carry your heart with me, I carry it in my heart, I am never without it, anywhere I go, you go."
seriously, now i'm lost.

2007-03-08T09:24:00.000-08:00

talk about a whirlwind of complications.
(neng and j could totally agree with me)
to aid the complications, i decided on a very long sleep and a few hot mugs of green tea.
and throughout the sleep, i did nothing but sneeze and cough.
(i don't take the chilled green tea you buy in bottles at convenient stores)
sleep doesn't help because before tucking in, i tend to think too much before i really get down to sleeping hours later.
the green tea helps because it helps cleanse the body.
(i know, very out of context)
maybe i should try going on a green tea diet.
JUST MAYBE.
i've got work tomorrow and i'm in no shape to go.
i'm hoping i sneeze and cough throughout my twelve hour shift tomorrow.
but desperately, i need to clock the hours because i am in dire need of cash to treat myself to a new mobile phone.
i really hate this deduct-your-money-from-your-pay-to-contribute-to-your-CPF-account thing.
20% can account for alot of things, you know?
nearly everything sucks the life out of you.
emotional issue, school and money.
these three little monsters are sure having a whoop-pee-doo moment and sucking the living hell out of me.

i like my green tea for now, more than anything else in this world.
i'll give myself another cup.

-

"I carry your heart with me, I carry it in my heart, I am never without it, anywhere I go you go, J; and whatever is done by only me is your doing. I fear no fate, for you are my fate, my sweet, I want no world, for beautiful you are my world, my true, here is the deepest secret nobody knows, here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud, and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide, and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart. I carry your heart, I carry it in my heart."

2007-03-06T09:48:00.000-08:00

bless my soul because i have no money whatsoever to do anything.
no money as of yet, to pay unpaid bills and i have a $100 starhub voucher which is basically very useless at the moment.
no money as of yet, to get a brand new mobile phone.
no money as of yet, to buy J at least something.
no money as of yet, to fly to the better friend, sheryl.
no money as of yet, to take myself for retail therapy.
no money as of yet, to go on a short vacation this holiday.

i'm broke, bankrupt and a massive hole in my pocket.

help me decide first lah, hur?

motorola E6

samsung i320

in my opinion, i like the motorola better.
you know, touch screen and it's look.
it's sex in a gadget.
but for some reason, i'm liking the key-board style typing of the samsung.
i say motorola, what do you?

-

J is sleeping, so i shall follow and sleep.

2007-02-27T10:45:00.000-08:00

i, very like this song.

2007-02-25T11:22:00.000-08:00

J says i'm weird.
i think maybe because what i thought was going to be a trip down to geylang (yes, the red-light district) to pick the boy up, i was wrong.
when i mentioned i was hungry, he decided on eating there.
no doubt the food there is doubly yummy, you also need to be dressed proper.
i, was not dressed right and neng was too emo-ly dressed to be taken for a prossy.
shorts and all, i'll be perfect standing like a slut inbetween the lorongs okay!
then the fool-of-a-child had to let the whole lorong and his sister know what i said a minute before, 'I DON'T WANT TO EAT AT THIS UNCIVILISED PLACE'.
and the minute i parked the car, (i'm not saying i'm hot or anything) but being a girl and wearing shorts, every man at lorong 17 (a very long lorong by the way) was glaring at me like i was going to sell myself.
!@#$%^&*&^%$#@!.
spend your money wisely, man.
stuff yourself with dimsum and beer that you can find at every corner of geylang (seriously, joke)instead of spending it on prossy/s.
NOT GOOD, NOT GOOD.
i'd choose dimsum over sex anytime.
food trumps anything :)

-

J's new phone, the N93i is a killer.
it can do this.

2007-02-24T12:31:00.000-08:00

i like gwen stefani's new video, sweet escape.
has a lot of meaning to it and besides, the colours are fab yes?
blackwhitegold.

(okay, because my blog template's still squeezy, you're going to have to be a little less lazy than i am and click on it to watchhh)

if I could escape
I would, but first of all let me say
I must apologize for acting,
stinking, treating you this way
Cause I've been acting like sour milk
fell on the floor
it's your fault you didn't shut
the refridgerator
maybe that's the reason
I've been acting so cold
if I could escape
and re-create a place as my own world
and I could be your favorite girl
forever, perfectly together
tell me boy, now wouldn't that be sweet?
if I could be sweet
i know I've been a real bad girl
i didn't mean for you to get hurt
forever, we can make it better
tell me boy, now wouldn't that be sweet?
sweet escape
you let me down
I'm at my lowest boiling point
come help me out
I need to get me out of this joint
come on, let's bounce
counting on you to turn me around
instead of clowning around for some common ground
so baby, times getting a little crazy
I've been getting a little lazy
waiting for you to come save me
I can see that you're angry
by the way the you treat me
hopefully you don't leave me
want to take you with me

2007-02-19T10:58:00.000-08:00

this is really worth watching.
look closely, listen carefully and enjoy.

(because my template is too narrow to view full screen of the video, just click it and watch away)

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR.
cheers to gambling this week and more red packets.

2007-02-15T10:16:00.000-08:00

i did those face recognition thing-a-majics.
AND, J LOOKS LIKE PARIS HILTON!

2007-02-13T08:09:00.000-08:00

i don't know how to thank you, really.
sometime's you really know how to surprise me.

2007-02-12T05:56:00.000-08:00

first of all, hello alex.
i have a few things to say to you before anything.
one, have fun slogging it out at work from monday till thursday.
two, great attitude there and don't forget to tell the silver chairs to loosen up when closing.
three, you stupid fool because you left my slippers in the locker which i'm coming down to take because it's my favourite pair.
four, you better not be burning the litter bin with un-put-out ciggarettes or else you die.
but like i mentioned quite abit on sunday night, we all know who started the fire and extinguised it.
i seriously want to bring it up because it's an open-door policy!

-

valentine's day and chinese new year, oh how exciting.
love and money, my favourite.

2007-02-08T11:15:00.000-08:00

i've been thinking for quite some time, to get my right eyebrow pierced.
what say you?
more like, what say my father.
i need to do a little more persuasion and a little more time to really think if i might regret.
as for this minute, i'm dreading my 12 hour shift at work tomorrow night.
dread, dread and dread.

2007-02-07T10:31:00.000-08:00

this is me.

this is javier.

this is neng.

this is reza.

this is sheryl seah, awhile back.

2007-02-06T10:01:00.000-08:00

i am feeling ultimately depressed at this very hour, minute and second.
(2:04:15, to be precise)
CCB.
not like anyone cares but maybe j, but i do because it regards to school.
just sometimes, school gets so heavy and you feel like a bloody soar loser who wants to quit and find other alternatives.
you'd think by finding a job, it'll be a lesser weight to carry and on top of it, you'll earn some moolahs.
then again, (i can't say i hate it but,) i don't quite enjoy my job on the weekends.
due to the lack of updating, i haven't mentioned that i found myself a decent paying job for the weekends.

i'll put in a few words; it's a night job, very exhausting and highly stressing.
there're the perks in the job, no doubt.
not like you need or want to know the perks or my schedule (to prove to you what i mentioned above)
fridays, 5pm till 530am.
saturdays, 5pm till 530am.
sundays, 8pm till 330am.
aiya, KNN lah because i'm very stressed right now hokay?

-

i think i desperately need to talk to sheryl.
WHO BLOODY HELL DOESN'T RESIDE IN SINGAPORE FOR THE NEXT DON'T KNOW HOW MANY DONKEY YEARS LAH.
know how to upload the floor plan of your home which is don't know how many steps away from the swan river.
having fun there right, everyday independence day.
you better be aware that i'm working and with working, i am earning and by earning, i am saving and by saving, i am flying over to your residing country, australia.
i noticed in your floor plan, you had an available room.
THAT ROOM BETTER BE FOR MY FRIGGIN' EXHAUSTED LARD-OF-A-BODY TO SLEEP ON WHEN I VISIT YOU.
don't know why but today, i feel very far from polite.
i will not spill my rude beans out here due to certain circumstances.
oh, thank you sheryl for that reminding note on your blog.
"Clara, i just need you to know that you are being missed.
I miss crapping, getting drunk and nasi goreng with you.
Work hard at FashionBar."
i miss you alot lah, sheryl seah.

2007-01-31T07:46:00.001-08:00

BEACHING.

2007-01-31T07:46:00.000-08:00

i hate school.
i also hate the sun.
i hate how last year it would be dead sunny in school with lack of shelter.
(like as if the sun never came out in it's life)
i hate how this year, it pours everyday.
(like as if my havainas have grip)
i hate how ALL my friends including J love going to beach.
i hate having headaches from the glare-y sun.
i hate being tan, fair suits me.
i hate the beach because you need to have a sexy frame.

but today, i decided to brave through the heat and beach with neng, lorraine and J.
so much for braving, i hurried to cafe del mar for much shelter and a jelly cocktail.

2007-01-29T22:00:00.000-08:00

i think a week ago, we decided to do something close to jack-ass.
we put two boys on the top of a bonet of a honda civic and drove around an empty carpark.
obviously girls first, but aren't like girls, we didn't scream or get hurt.
(we're wonderwomen lah huh?)
the boys, were the total opposite due to the screaming and yes, andrew getting hurt.
maybe i did go a teeeed bit faster than they did for neng and i.
but bearing in mind, the boys played with the window washing liquid, you know the one where water squirts out in front?
so i got my punishment too, scalded by hot water from the engine.
oh, due to a little miscommunication between reza and i, we scared them the wrong way.
(notice when the window wipers went up, it gave andrew more than a fright, he actually let both hands of the car)

2007-01-28T21:52:00.000-08:00

i want to change, to rearrange
what is going on.
i need to change, i need to play
like a five year old .

i can't detach from the past and all of the pain,
i need to learn, start from scratch begin again.

throw away yesterday,
today is a brand new day.

so i'm going to eat one hundred sweets,
i don't care if i get fat.
and i'm going to speak one,
i won't censor me.
i know i can take nothing back.

and i'm going to jump, i will unburden.
i cannot go too deep.
i will not run from bad things i've done.
they're things i'll try not to repeat.

throw away yesterday,
today is a brand new day.

welcome to
the church of what's happening now.
head straight through,
it costs nothing but change.

2007-01-25T07:44:00.000-08:00

macbooks, a library and four MINDS children.
(andrew and bryan were absent)

we're replicating javier's infamous default smile.

2007-01-22T07:20:00.000-08:00

THIS SEASON, THIS IS THE SONG.

2007-01-20T11:44:00.000-08:00

reality hits, sheryl has left :(

these few days have been by far, "memories to last a lifetime".
(aiya, get my drift okay?)
and tomorrow, it's golfing with the guys.

i like long bus rides, but not when the duration hits an hour and twenty minutes.
(like seriously?)
i didn't get lost, it's just that i'm travelling from mid-west to what, somewhat the end of singapore.
they might as well have sengkang as an island on it's very own.
like, pulau sengkang.

before i hit the sheets, never have bryan looi(?) in your car.
godforsaken mutated kid.

2007-01-17T07:37:00.000-08:00

peektures with the girl and boys.
what else, ghost hunting because that's all they do after 12.

the ballerina and charrrrrrrrrr.

need-for-speeding.

drew and charrrrr.

i and charrrrr.

drew, bry, mark and reza.

mark and bry.

mark, i and drew.

2007-01-15T07:32:00.000-08:00

javier, you are going to buy me that book we saw at borders, yes?
(i kinda forgot the title though, but far from vague, i remember the book cover)
i know my blog is getting a bit of a bore and slowly, the posts are "hen shao" lately.
part javier, part school.
but today, i will try to make it look word-y and length-y and random-y.
yes, i am still in dire need of getting a job to support my bankrupt-ass to bangkok.
"wo zhen de hen xu yao qian leh?"
but with the rate i'm going with my mobile bills, i'm far from bang-cocking.
next up, projectsprojectsprojects that kill you slowly.
then there's sheryl seah, who pisses me off the most by leaving me for aussie.
SO YOU THINK BY LEAVING, IT'LL MAKE THINGS BETTER?
yes, you will get your degree and inbetween you can have krispy kreme, see bloody farm animals and blonde homosapiens.
I CAN BE BLONDE TOO!
(because all it takes is for me to do much bleeching)
but it itches me to know that i won't have anyone to maggie goreng or drink with me?
do you know how much that hurts!
DO YOU, DO YOU, DO YOU?
i know you do because we still communicate in all ways possible, via the trusty computer.

alright, i need to return jav's four missed calls.
i'm done for.

2007-01-12T23:23:00.000-08:00

school is RIDICULOUS.
i mean despite the fact that i do not have school on mondays, giving me ample time to complete the uncompleted.
with thursdays and fridays being my longest days.
no doubt the subjects for this sem is far from boring, we have clay, plaster and photography workshops.
i'm complaining because they seem to be far to lazy to print our project briefs anymore.
all the fuss starts when we have to download them ourselves.
one helluva hassle.
but school's been a-okay only because of the classmates and i have javier waiting for me to end class everyday, which is the sweetest.
imagine waiting 5 hours, jav did.
anyhow so, i'm in DIRE need of cash and in DIRE need to get through the next four months of school.
hummm with me, concentration and focus.
javier better be puttting me in place.

2007-01-05T12:30:00.000-08:00

i like 2007, because it gave me javier.

2007-01-03T07:51:00.000-08:00

MMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM : )

NENG! doc, happy, dopey, sneezy, grumpy, sleepy, and bashful.

2007-01-02T09:35:00.000-08:00

and javier is still over.
i have officially been without a wink of sleep for two straight days.
after tomorrow, i'll chiong to sleepers.

2007-01-01T17:40:00.000-08:00

i am how bored.
javier is fast asleep on my bed and mind you, he is snoring helluva loud.
zzzzzzzzzz.
so i'm unable to upload peektures because.
i'll wait for the skin&bones to awake from slumber.

grey's anatomy will do some entertaining for now : (

2006-12-29T17:29:00.000-08:00

he totally photoshopped me.

i camped downstairs by the pool with javier for a whole day.
friday 12am, to saturday 12am.
reassessment, play, swimswimswim, macdonalds breakfast, hour nap by the pool, reassessment, swimswimswim, snacking, swimswimswim, dinner, gossip, reassessment, swimswimswim, gossip and goodnight.
i know i enjoyed my night.
now, i need a goodnights rest for new years eve with him again, wonderness.

2006-12-25T11:09:00.000-08:00

it's christmas and i'm not going to wish anyone this year.
it's my resolution, so beat it.
first to the chai's.
then to a massive eurasian party.

my cousin, chris. (he is not of a malay mix)

my sister and i.

my sister, the christmas tree with my aunt's deco.

cousin matt and a guitar.

2006-12-24T06:01:00.000-08:00

keep holding on 'cause you know we'll make it through,
we'll make it through.
just stay strong 'cause you know i'm here for you,
i'm here for you.
theres nothing you can say, nothing you can do,
theres no other way when it comes to the truth,
so keep holding on 'cause you know we'll make it through,
we'll make it through.

avril lavigne; keep holding on.

2006-12-22T02:16:00.000-08:00

BLOODY HELL, TALK ABOUT FUGGLY.

"alco, alco"

2006-12-20T14:09:00.000-08:00

YOU ARE AMAZING.

like we always say: iheartsyou.

2006-12-19T10:48:00.000-08:00

courtesy of javvvy.

2006-12-19T08:30:00.001-08:00

rain, rain, go away, come again another day, NOT.

boys and rain don't go, they get all pissy on you : (

ohohoh, javier just reminded me that he and i haven't showered for three days straight and we cannot stop laughing.
but we promise to shower and break the dirty cycle because we're seeing each other later, yes?

2006-12-18T11:12:00.000-08:00

Who knew the words you never got around to saying, could settle so heavy?

2006-12-17T05:06:00.000-08:00

you are a real cutie, you know?

be it emo, be it normal.

sprinkle-a-little-emo, i picture him looking like this when all grown up.

true enough.

even emo's celebrate x'mas.
(ashley, you so humsum)

2006-12-17T03:06:00.000-08:00

yesternight, we boarded the slut yacht.

not the sluts, charms and jill.

i look gross.

driving to peek at you.

backseat frog.

urgh, urgh, urgh?

kisses to kusu island.

2006-12-14T22:22:00.000-08:00

just the other day, i think tuesday, i was thinking what's the worst possible thing that could happen to me on friday.
why friday, because it's kev's social dinner event.
i was deciding between a soar eye (which i felt was around the corner), a pimple outbreak or my ovaries having it's own party and my period would come.
very very true enough, i got two of the above.
the pimple outbreak (of one pimple you cannot miss) and my heavy-flow period.
this is majorly depressing.
i've two hours to try to get rid of it or make it look like it disappeared.
i wish photoshop was make-up in my pouch.

and i have one measily picture from zoukout.

and my taiwanese homie, javier.

2006-12-14T10:09:00.000-08:00

jav or chinchilla.
i say, chinchilla :)

2006-12-12T11:31:00.000-08:00

my aunt is amazing, seriously.

2006-12-12T01:14:00.000-08:00

my grandparents golden anniversary on the 25th of november.
okay, so i'm late in uploading.

my very exhausted mummy and daddy

my uncle and my aunt, daddy's sister.

dad calls him ku-chi-na-bers (you have to check out his crabby shirt, literally) and i call her funky.

my aunt (who looks like sandra oh from grey's anatomy) and my uncle, daddy's brother.